Asking for help is STRENGTH

“I will do this on my own, I don’t need help”

“I’m fine”

No matter what problem I was going through, my pride always got in the way. I knew I was struggling but I didn’t want to admit it. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. This way, no one will pity me or look at me like I’m beneath them. I was so scared of that, scared of how people would look at me or treat me. For 8 years I struggled emotionally, physically and mentally. I was depressed, which caused me to gain weight and then mentally I just hated myself. This was the story of my life and I thought I would just have to get used to it.

I knew I hated feeling this way, yet I did nothing to help myself. After laying in my bed of self pity for so many years, I finally realized this could not go on anymore. I still remember that exact moment, the moment I accepted that I couldn’t do this on my own. I needed help. Thoughts of every person that ever tried to help me popped into my mind. I was irritated at myself because I became the exact thing I was trying so hard to avoid. I wasn’t strong, I was so weak and unhealthy. Keeping this all inside for as long as I did, broke me down so much that I didn’t even know who I was anymore. THAT was a scary realization.

For me, finally asking for help was the turning point in my life. A big thing I realized was that because of how I was feeling about myself, I lost so many people in my life. Once I let them back in and shared how I was feeling, it actually strengthened a lot of my relationships. Opening up gave me incredible strength and it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. Everything fell back into place and I finally saw a bright future ahead of me. I was happier with myself and was able to have these people I cared so much about, back into my life.

Did I get professional help? Absolutely. I saw a counselor for a little while who really helped me put all my past hardships into perspective. She also made me realize that people wanted to help because they cared ..not because they felt bad for me. I knocked those brick walls down that I had built up and allowed myself to be more emotional. Now, I remain open and if things get hard I don’t take it upon myself if I know I can’t handle it. I already know how that will end up.

The best thing we can do for ourselves, is be honest. Deep down we know how were truly feeling, it takes a special strength to be able to manifest it. YOU have the strength to do it, be thankful for and utilize all the support you have. They may not be there forever.